Let me say something radical about how to have a successful retirement. I’ve read a lot of retirement books touting the “keys to a successful retirement.” Some have great ideas. But I think they miss a key ingredient.
Here’s my radical contribution to the retirement conversation. In order to have a successful retirement, you have to start with “a proper understanding of work.”
It’s admittedly a counterintuitive way to look at retirement. But sometimes looking at a problem backward, instead of looking at it forward, can help find creative solutions. In other words, examine the opposite of retirement for lessons about retirement.
I’ll keep it simple. First, what is it about work that is rewarding that we never want to lose? And second, what is it about work that we want to eliminate in retirement?
My suggestion. Answer those two questions before designing your ideal retirement.
Positive Lessons from Work for Retirement
I’ll start at the 10,000-foot idealistic view of work. Many of us may have started our career with a vision of how we could change the world for the better through our work. Teachers and health care workers come to mind as epitomizing this desire.
Many religious traditions provide strong support for the integration of faith and work. Abraham Kuyper, a unique blend of theologian and prime minister of the Netherlands, is one of my favorites. His writings influenced me to see work as a way to not only care for creation, but to create a culture that honors God and enables people to thrive.
And non-religious folks also share an innate satisfaction in their work when it helps others prosper. It’s a universal desire we see in all cultures.
Second, I don’t think I ever felt as alive as when I was fully engaged in creative learning at work. There is something exhilarating when we have an “Aha! Moment” where we find an innovative solution to a vexing problem or learn a new skill. I’d like to continue tapping into that exhilaration.
Third, work also provides a key sense of identity for us. I’m a banker. That statement defined me for the last 40-years. I was comfortable with that identity.
Fourth, work provided an income. Just save some for the future by living below whatever our salary is, and we can live a financially stress-free life.
Finally, work created social bonds with co-workers. Spending time together striving to accomplish a noble purpose led to close friendships.
Why We Pursue Retirement
If work offers all those benefits, why do we pursue retirement? Seinfeld offers us a unique perspective.
Jack Welch, CEO of GE, offered Jerry Seinfeld $5,000,000 a show, or $110,000,000 to do one more season of Seinfeld. He said no and walked away.
There are a number of reports why Seinfeld said no. One that seems most likely is that he didn’t have time for anything else. Like family. He did get married after the series ended and had children.
It’s also suggested he wanted to go out on top. He had devoted so much time to the show that he wasn’t able to live a normal life where he could gather material observing others.
While we aren’t in Seinfeld’s league for salary, we can find common ground in the reasons he left. I’ve talked to friends who have worked for law and accounting firms who left because the time cost to family was too high. A wonderful paying job can feel like slavery when we miss too many family events due to deadline pressure.
Another observation is the way some noble professions grind down the workers by the red tape and distractions from the mission. As I type this paragraph, I’m reminded of a conversation I had with a waitress this morning. She said she had just quit her teaching job after a few years for just these reasons.
And some of us, like Seinfeld, may have felt the need to go out on top. After 40 years in banking, I’m sure I could have continued to run a bank for many years. But with my bank performing well, it was gratifying to turn the keys over to someone else to inherit a well running business.
The Ideal Retirement
How can we synthesize these insights on work to design an ideal retirement? Here are six suggestions.
Ramp up the Creativity and Learning. I spent a few months in an active retirement community last winter. One of the first things I noticed was the literally hundreds of clubs available for residents to learn and create. It reminded me of the thrill of going to college without the stress of final exams. My career provided creative outlets, but retirement unleashes this desire.
Redesign work. Accept that the ideal retirement includes work and service to others. What’s changed is that we no longer have to put up with the “#$%$%!” because we (hopefully) don’t need a paycheck. We will find a more fulfilling retirement if we stay involved in shaping the culture in a way that allows others to flourish.
Once we accept that a fulfilling retirement is not about 100% leisure, the choices are wide open with opportunity. Churches, nonprofits or entrepreneurial efforts are all potential opportunities to continue with the best of our work careers without the baggage.
Redefine Identity. As we step out of our old world, fill the identity void with your interests. I met someone new last week and when he asked the inevitable, “What do you do?” I didn’t hesitate, but said, “I’m a writer and bank consultant.” It felt good to not say “I’m retired.”
Deep Friendships. Replace the social network lost in the work environment with a new robust one. Work relationships can be intense because they are centered on a shared pursuit of the goals of the organization we work for. Losing those relationships leaves a hole to fill.
We will likely find the quality of retirement friendships correlated with the depth of our shared goals and aspirations. My advice is look for friendships where you find yourself most passionate about a cause or hobby. It is likely to be more enduring and satisfying.
Kodak Moments. Use the extra time to reconnect with family. Many of us missed some of those special kodak moments in our work years. I’m trying to make sure that doesn’t happen anymore.
Eliminate the Toxins. Don’t waste a lot of time in this new season of life with toxic relationships or annoying red tape. We sometimes had to endure unusual personalities in the workplace, but this season of life doesn’t require such pain.
These are a few lessons I’ve learned in my three-year journey in retirement, but I’m still learning and would love to hear from some of you on your experience!
Joe Kesler
Thanks Joe for an insightful piece. Like you, I am early into the retirement phase of life…4 years next month. Like just starting a new career, I know I have a lot to learn about this new gig. I like to think that the best things in life are the simple things. A cup of coffee while the sun is rising at your favorite place (or in your favorite chair). Or reading or listening to two inspiring devotionals instead of one because of the new time constraint freedom. Or finding the new picture on Bing.com each day and taking the quiz! The most enjoyable of them all came as a surprise, helping some older relatives live better by assisting with their care. All in all the retirement secret sauce of my life has been what I planned and as an added bonus….what I didn’t plan. Kind of like my career (and life). Taking and retrofitting from a favorite movie line: retirement is the next great adventure!
Great additions to what a great retirement looks like Brian! Thanks for adding your perspective.
Joe,
As always, really insightful and helpful thoughts! Like you, I spent over 40 years in community banking, and am 3 years into my redeployment (although in my case, it was not planned; my bank was acquired and I was given a separation package). Like you, I don’t miss the toxic people and the increasingly frustrating regulatory environment, but I do miss the great people with whom I worked and interacting with customers. Every now and then I think about some of the delinquent borrowers with whom I worked and I wonder how they’re doing.
But I absolutely love that now I have the time and opportunity to help people. Instead of wasting time in a board meeting every Wednesday morning, I spend that time grocery shopping for my elderly parents. A few years ago a couple in our church suffered a severe car accident, and I was so pleased to be able to pick them up and take them to a variety of medical appointments; it gave me more time to get to know them better.
A number of people in the past few years have asked me for help with a variety of financial matters (buying a home, refinancing, retirement planning, investment options), and I am delighted to help them, because now I have the time and energy to devote to that. And at my church I have been blessed to help in a variety of ways, which I have to say is really stretching me, but in good ways! One day last year, I received e-mails from 5 different people in the church office asking for help with something. The other week I was on a Zoom call with one church employee, and another one was calling me. I’ve had more opportunities to write and teach classes for adult Christian education, and am writing a series of Advent meditations for later this year.
You’re so right about discovering the truths about what work is all about. Retirement is not freedom from work; God created us to work. Retirement is about a different kind of work, and in most cases, if we are blessed, a more fulfilling and leisurely kind of work. Oh, and I have a LOT more time to read books! What’s not to like?
Wow! What a wonderful story you have Steve of making the most of your “retirement.” That is inspiring to hear how you transitioned from the banking world to your new calling. I’d love to get a copy of the Advent meditations when you get it done! Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Joe,
Absolutely will make sure you get a copy!