True Wealth versus Riches

I had an emotional week! I’d call it a Peter Lynch experience. You might remember him as one of the most successful mutual fund managers ever at Fidelity. Then he quit at the prime of his career. He was 46 at the time. His comment on retiring early was this: “You remind yourself that nobody on his deathbed ever said, I wish I’d spent more time at the office.”

Nothing brings more clarity to the limitations of money than consideration of our mortality. I thought about this truth as I lay awake in bed all night a few days ago waiting to hear from my son. He and his wife had checked into a hospital to give birth. The plan was that we would receive regular text updates on progress regardless of the time day or night because the hospital was closed to visitors due to COVID-19.  It was a great plan, but as hours passed, and we received no updates, an ominous feeling crept into my thinking that something was wrong.

I would not wish that experience on anyone. As my wife and I agonized and prayed all night over what could be happening, we struggled to contain our fears and imagination about all the things that could be going wrong.  Why hasn’t he kept us up to date? Are mom and baby ok? Repeating these questions over and over for hours, either in our mind, or to each other only made the worry grow. Finally, a call came at 3:30 in the morning.

It was a longer than normal process. But I’m happy to report our new grandson and daughter-in-law are doing fine . We’ve been in a state of joy ever since we received the good news!

What are the Things by Which We Measure Our Life?

Rather than move on from that painful memory as quickly as possible, I found it helpful to reflect on what I learned from the crisis. This event created a time of quiet introspection for me about whether my life has been too focused on the accumulation of things that won’t last or if I have been building true wealth.

True Wealth

The word “wealth” comes from an old English word. Its meaning is closely related to happiness or the wholeness that comes from a well-balanced life. As we look at our lives, what are the traits to look for to see if we have this true wealth as opposed to just a lot of money in the bank or stock market? Here’s a list of things I think are valid metrics to measure our true wealth in life:

• Family and Friends. This is almost always a leading indicator of happiness in surveys.  The support network of people who know our name is even more important in days of Covid-19 isolation. For me, taking wedding vows 41 years ago has brought the wonderful blessing of a great life companion, 5 adult children, two daughters-in-law, one son-in-law and 3 grandchildren.
• Community. We live in an increasingly individualistic age. Neil Postman’s book, Amusing Ourselves to Death, was written before social media, but is more relevant than ever about the degradation of public discourse as we isolate ourselves.  But the richness that comes from our connecting with others through churches, civic groups and other forms of community engagement are at the core of the civility that made my years as a community banker very rewarding.
• Education and Experience. If we suddenly took all the money in the world and gave everyone an equal share, there would be inequality again by the next day. That’s because true wealth is not measured in financial assets, but in our ability to adapt and respond to wherever we are.
• Contentment. Growing up I was surrounded by many families that were lower middle class. However, for the most part, I never saw the envy and angst that destroys happiness that I later saw in the workplace over salaries and bonuses. The simple life my parents showed me came with long term friendships with common values. True wealth.
• Health. If we lose our health, we can’t work, play, or travel as much as we might desire. And to compound the aggravation, we must budget more for medical expenses. Good health is worth investing in with diet and exercise because it is a part of true wealth.
• Spiritual peace. My daughter taught me a little about this when I visited her in South Africa where she was spending a gap year in an orphanage. Being a rich American, she assumed the people she would be working with would be poor and unhappy. But as she explained to me, they were poor but happy. Being a teenager at the time, she quickly came to refer to the pettiness of “first world problems” she and her American friends had sometimes complained about. She saw the connection between the deep spiritual faith the South Africans practiced and their joy in life.
• Generous Spirit. It is a wonderful feeling to give to others generously. Studies show that many people derive great happiness out of giving to others less fortunate than themselves. But as a banker, I saw a lot of wealthy people who could not enjoy this sign of true wealth because they had for too long failed to give.
• Virtue. When we acquire our wealth by stepping on others or cheating, there is ultimately a loss of joy in our riches. The book of Proverbs says it well: “Ill-gotten treasures have no lasting value.” I looked at a lot of tax returns as a banker trying to qualify customers for loans. When they did not qualify, many would admit that they did not report all their income and handled it under the table. The great coach for the UCLA basketball team, John Wooden, said it well, “The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.”

Riches

I’m not against success and riches. But the overarching goal of this blog is to bring stewardship concepts into the personal finance conversation. So, the question for myself and for you is, “how are you using your riches to bring true wealth into your life and the lives of others?”  It took a little family crisis to jolt me into giving this some thought this week.

I’d love to hear from you on how you process this distinction between riches and true wealth!

Joe Kesler

Founder

Smart Money with Purpose