The Two halves of life

Growing up I was heavily influenced by the ideals of the protestant work ethic.  It served me well through the first half of life. So, I assumed I’d work the second half of life the same as the first half. But I learned that wasn’t a great plan.

I was about fifty when I ran across the writings of psychiatrist Carl Jung discussing the two halves of life. The timing couldn’t have been better to help me begin a life transition.

Jung saw that in the second half of life it is no longer enough to find meaning in being successful.  He knew as we age, we find purpose in different ways than in the first half of life. Jung summed it up poetically:

“One cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning; for what was great in the morning will be of little importance in the evening, and what in the morning was true will at evening become a lie.”

Jung opened my eyes to see from our 50’s to our 80’s each of us have the opportunity to make the process of aging a different, but life-enhancing experience. He saw this season of life as a time for us to redefine ourselves rather than try to hang onto our aspirations in the first half of life.

What happens when we ignore this insight into aging? When we try to do the same things in the second half of life that we did in the first half? I’m sure there are many exceptions, but I saw how burn out could cause highly productive employees to become a shell of their former selves.

It was sad to see former high performers turn into mediocre employees hanging on for the health insurance until they could qualify for Medicare.  Many hadn’t planned their finances well and had to delay their post career life.

How do we avoid the risk of that type of burnout and maximize our engagement over a lifetime?  Here are three ideas on living out a purposeful life.  

First, there is a lot of advice given to young people to follow their heart these days, regardless of the money. Sure, if you are called to be a missionary to a remote part of the world, who am I to challenge you?

But I’d wager most of us in our 20’s had no idea what we wanted to do for the next 40 years. And does anyone think today’s 20 somethings have a better handle on that same question? I don’t think so.

My contention—without a clear-cut mission in life, why not follow the money when you’re young?  For example, I think I found almost everything interesting in my 20’s. I loved rock music and could have become a low paid roadie I suppose.

But I also found finance interesting in my 20’s. As a banker I could do some interesting work, help people, make money and save for the future. Now, in my 60’s, I’ve refined what I find interesting. I can now “follow my heart” with a refined sense of purpose and with resources set aside to fund the pursuit of those interests.

My point? Unless you have a distinct calling in one direction, why not make as much money as you can early in life when we’re passionate about many things? Then as we age into our 40’s, 50’s and beyond, we have some capital built up to pursue passions we’ve found are enduring in importance to us.

 Second, ask some penetrating questions in the second half of life to learn what is important to you. Sometimes that exercise makes it easier to structure finances to allow life goals to be pursued.

George Kinder wrote The Seven Stages of Money Maturity and trains financial advisors to help clients figure out what they want to do with their lives.  He suggests three excellent questions to help discover what is truly important in our life. I find them great conversation starters for those interested in life purpose. Here is a paraphrased version of the questions:

• If you just won $10 million, how would you change your life?
• If you found out you have just five years to live, but in good health, what would you do?
• If you are told today that you have only 24 hours to live, what regrets would you have about your life?

If you have a spouse or close friend, go out for coffee and spend a little time reflecting on these questions. As you zero in on revealing hidden aspirations, you might want to test some of them out in a trail run. And if you find your ideas are something you want to pursue, it may open the pathway to a whole new direction.

Third, consider embracing your inner mentor in the second half of life. There is a big need for mentors in our society. And no one is better suited than those of us with some experiences and wisdom to share from our life journey.

Encore.org is an organization that has recognized aging is an opportunity for us to redefine who we are as we age. Mentorship is one of those opportunities they can assist with by connecting those over 50 with younger folks in need of direction. Or, if you’re a grandparent, you already have an opportunity to mentor.

Religious traditions capture this same insight. We see older men and women in the church, for example, transitioning from their first calling to teaching the younger members of a community. These opportunities continue to exist in churches today.

Many community-based nonprofits use mentors effectively. My wife serves on a nonprofit that recruits mentors to help men and women dealing with crisis pregnancies. It’s a wonderful opportunity for those of us who know something about being parents to come along side those who are clueless.

And to those of us still connected to our first half profession, running development programs can be one of the most rewarding times of our career. I just got a thank you note from a single mom who graduated with an accounting degree because of the goals she set in a program I led. It’s a positive legacy to play a role in seeing others succeed.

These are a few of my thoughts on finding life purpose in the second half. I would love to know what other SMWP readers have learned in how to make the two halves of life meaningful. Please share your story if you have a good insight!

Joe Kesler

Smart Money with Purpose